Rar mi se intampla sa citesc un dictionar din scoarta in scoarta. Rar, adica niciodata. Pana la The Penguin Dictionary of Humorous Quotations. Am ales din nenumaratele citate cateva…daca ar fi fost dupa mine as fi copiat toata cartea š
1 Everybody sat around thinking about Panasonic, the Japanese Electronic account. Finally I decided, what the hell, Iāll throw a line to loosen them upā¦āThe headline is, the headline is: From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harborā. ā Jerry Della Femina
2 Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark: you know what you are doing, but nobody else does. ā Edgar Watson Howe
3 My sad conviction is that people can only agree about what they are not really interested in. ā Bertrand Russell
4 You can tell a lot about someoneās personality if you know his sign: Jesus: born on 25 th December. Fed the 5000, walked on water ā typical Capricorn. ā Harry Hill
5 Someone asked Bertrand Russell at some meeting: āLord Russell, what will you say when you die and are brought face to face with your Maker?ā He replied without hesitation: āGod, āI shall say āGod, why did you make the evidence or your existence so insufficient?ā ā A.J. Ayer
6 An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. ā John Buchan
7 Iām tired about all this nonsense about beauty being skin-deep. Thatās deep enough. What do you want ā an adorable pancreas? ā Jean Kerr
8 My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. ā Winston Churchill
9 I went on a diet, swore of drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. ā Joe E. Lewis
10 A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ā Josh Billings
11 A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ā Ogden Nash
12 Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close ā knit family in another city. ā George Burns
13 Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ā Charlotte Whitton
14 There is a fine line between fishing and sitting on the riverside looking like an idiot. ā Anon
15 History is the sum total of the things that could have been avoided. ā Konrad Adanaueur
16 History teaches us that men and nations act wisely after they have exhausted all other alternatives. ā Abba Eban
17 Iād rather be black than gay because when you are black you donāt have to tell your mother. ā Charles Pierce
18 A Lexicon for Fighting Marital Fights
Amnesia āWho do you think you are?ā
Apology āPARDON me for LIVING!ā
Family tree āSheās YOUR mother, not mineā.
Hearing Impairments: āCould you speak up a little? They canāt hear you in Europe!ā
Language barrier: āWhatās the matter, donāt you understand English?ā
Miming: āI hadnāt realized weād descended to that levelā
Wildlife: āThatās right, use physical violence. Thatās all an animal like you knows anyway.ā
19 Get your tongue out of my mouth, I am kissing you goodbye! ā Cynthia Helmel
20 Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. ā Hubert Humphrey
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